So it's been a year since I've updated my 40 by 40 and I've only got two new things to show for it. But something is better than nothing right?
Go to a movie alone
It probably seems silly for me to be uncomfortable with this, but eating alone or going to a movie alone has always felt like a scary thing for me. Where do I look? How do I fill the silences? Well...now with two small kids at home, I treasure my alone time and any silence I can get. I was EXCITED to get out to a movie alone. And it was great. Not weird at all and a really nice little break. I might just do it again.
Invite the neighbours for dinner
How have we not done this before? I love the idea of neighbours who know each others names and have conversations in the driveway and dinner together. We bring the neighbours treats at Christmas, but even then, we don't really get to know them. One day, our next door neighbours were playing in the front yard as the same time as us and we chatted a little. We were heading inside and I thought, yet again, "we should really invite them for dinner." And I suddenly just turned around and went back out and invited them over for a few nights later. They were free and we set the date.
The night they came by, AJ and I were having a conversation because we couldn't be sure we remembered their names. How embarrassing. We have lived here 3 years. I thought I knew, but it had been a long time since we had introduced ourselves, and it's really easy to have quick conversations without ever using each other's names. And so, when they got there, I just got it out of the way. "So, this is embarrassing, but I need to make sure I have your names right." I did, and I made sure they knew ours just in case they were feeling the same way. And we had a great night letting the kids run around and getting to know each other.
I hate that we let busy schedules and laziness get in the way of really getting to know the people around us. This is one that I absolutely want to continue.
Wednesday, August 9, 2017
Sunday, July 24, 2016
40 by 40 - Learn To Drive Stick Shift & Try Adventure Rooms Canada
Two more down for the blog today.
First, learning to drive stick shift. I had the basic idea a while ago but I just get so nervous when people are around me that I will stall and look like an idiot. Before AJ got rid of his manual transmission, I drove it a few more times. Enough that I am confident that I can do it if needed and also enough to know that I will always buy an automatic.
Secondly, and more fun, escape rooms. I have been looking forward to doing this for a long time. It seems like an activity designed just for me and, as it turns out, that's pretty accurate.
We didn't actually go to an official Adventure Rooms Canada, but an Escape Room opened up in Barrie and that made getting there and getting babysitting much more convenient.
We went with another couple that we don't see enough who also wanted to try it out. The place is called Perplexcity and although I have nothing to compare it to, the rooms seems pretty good. The rest of the place doesn't quite give off the same vibe, but the rooms themselves are great.
We got a quick lowdown on the story and the way all the different locks work from our gamemaster and he "locked" us in and started the 60 minute clock. Immediately, we figured we'd all just take a side of the room and find anything we could that might be part of it and go from there. I won't go into details because I'm not going to ruin the fun for anyone.
Like I said, this sort of thing is perfectly aligned with my competitive nature and nerdy love for puzzles. I was pumped and moving at lightning speed through the things we found. AJ actually had to reel me in once or twice because I sort of took over and he reminded me that perhaps our friends would like to play too. Ooops.
A lot of the puzzles came fairly easily to me, but when I was stumped or slow at getting something, someone else jumped on it and had the answer. We ended up escaping in 40 minutes and our gamemaster was pretty impressed. Apparently we were the first to even escape that room, never mind with 20 minutes to spare.
I loved it and can't wait to try it again!
First, learning to drive stick shift. I had the basic idea a while ago but I just get so nervous when people are around me that I will stall and look like an idiot. Before AJ got rid of his manual transmission, I drove it a few more times. Enough that I am confident that I can do it if needed and also enough to know that I will always buy an automatic.
Secondly, and more fun, escape rooms. I have been looking forward to doing this for a long time. It seems like an activity designed just for me and, as it turns out, that's pretty accurate.
We didn't actually go to an official Adventure Rooms Canada, but an Escape Room opened up in Barrie and that made getting there and getting babysitting much more convenient.
We went with another couple that we don't see enough who also wanted to try it out. The place is called Perplexcity and although I have nothing to compare it to, the rooms seems pretty good. The rest of the place doesn't quite give off the same vibe, but the rooms themselves are great.
We got a quick lowdown on the story and the way all the different locks work from our gamemaster and he "locked" us in and started the 60 minute clock. Immediately, we figured we'd all just take a side of the room and find anything we could that might be part of it and go from there. I won't go into details because I'm not going to ruin the fun for anyone.
Like I said, this sort of thing is perfectly aligned with my competitive nature and nerdy love for puzzles. I was pumped and moving at lightning speed through the things we found. AJ actually had to reel me in once or twice because I sort of took over and he reminded me that perhaps our friends would like to play too. Ooops.
A lot of the puzzles came fairly easily to me, but when I was stumped or slow at getting something, someone else jumped on it and had the answer. We ended up escaping in 40 minutes and our gamemaster was pretty impressed. Apparently we were the first to even escape that room, never mind with 20 minutes to spare.
I loved it and can't wait to try it again!
Friday, July 1, 2016
City Chase 2016
After a couple year hiatus, AJ and I got back to City Chase in Toronto.
We went into the race with no anticipation of winning (top teams do it in 2.5 of the allowed 6 hours), but instead made our goal to complete the required 10 Chase Points by the 4pm finish time. This makes for a much more relaxed and fun race for two competitive people.
It was a beautiful day, the boys were with their grandparents and AJ and I were ready for some adventure.
After the Zumba-like warm up that AJ hated, they announced the riddle to lead us to our clue sheet. We spent about 40 minutes sitting on the sidewalk working out the riddles. Longer than many other teams, but shorter than others. This year's clue sheet was done in brain teasers so it took a little longer to work out.
Once we had most of them figured out, we picked the one that sounded the most fun (which is basically our whole strategy) and headed out with our TTC passes in hand.
Chase Point #1 - Escape Room
We forgot to take a picture of this one, but it was easily my favourite. I haven't done a full escape room before but this made me want to go soon. It was a medical room and we had to find files and match files with injuries and blood types to open a lock. It was a pretty quick Chase Point #1.
Chase Point #2 - Zorb Wars
Stop #2 was a bit of a walk to a park. We were so excited to see the zorbs because we thought there would be water involved and the sun was beating down. Alas, no water, but still a fun challenge. Us vs another team to try and knock off small balls velcroed to the zorb. And we won so we didn't have to clean up.
At this point, we didn't really have a game plan so we sat down for a snack and to map out where we would go the rest of the day. We forgot our plan from the last race to have a paper map with us, but AJ used his iPhone to map each address into quadrants so we'd at least pick ones in the same area. This little stop was a good choice and gave us a plan for the rest of the day.
Chase Point #3 - Cheerleading Routine
Routine is a bit of a stretch. One partner had to stand on the other partner's knee and hold for 5 seconds. I tried first because that's what the girl is supposed to do, but apparently I have the world's worst balance. So we switched and AJ nailed it immediately.
Chase Point #4 - Box Hockey
This was surprisingly one of the most physically difficult challenges. Those sticks are super bendy and the other guy just held his stick in front of the holes so there was nowhere to go. We ended up there so long, the judges just gave us a mercy point.
Chase Point #5 - Boot Toss
We accidentally found this one by following another team from box hockey, but we'll take what we can get. AJ tossed 3 boots into a can for the point.
Chase Point #6 - Surf Workout
Another really fun one! We followed the instructor through an ab workout on surfboards. Nama-surf.
Chase Point #7 - Goodlife Puzzle
Goodlife usually has a fun and challenge point, but this one was a bit disappointing. Move the weights to the other side moving one at a time and not having a larger weight on top of a smaller one. Took AJ about 10 seconds. (Though he hammed it up for the photo)
Chase Point #8 - Trumpet Playing
Forgot to take a photo again, but be glad there's no video. I said I was going to do this point no matter what it was and I ended up having to play a note on a trumpet for 5 seconds. I played something that could maybe be called a note, or several terrible notes. But I got the job done. Of course, AJ played trumpet in high school, but he was kind enough to let me embarrass myself.
Chase Point #9 - Art Match
Next we went to an art school. We were given 10 photos of artists and had to match them with their paintings. I knew half of them for sure and the others were a guess. The staff member was very generous with hints.
Chase Point #10 - Fun With Flags
After accidentally taking the long route, we made it to a park where we had to use flag signals to spell a phrase. It took us a few minutes to figure it out but we got it.
We were at our 10 points at about 1:45, but I had already seen the tweets that winners passed the finish line around 12:30. So we could have headed back but decided to keep going and see how many we could do. (There is something called the Enduro Challenge, where the team with most Chase Points gets a prize. The winner this time got 20.)
Chase Point #11 - Paint A Masterpiece
As it turns out, our last two points were not as exciting as we hoped. For #11 we had to copy a painting, mixing the colour to match.
Chase Point #12 - Arm Trivia
Next we had to answer 5 trivia questions at an art store by writing the answers across both our arms. The marker pens we were supposed to use did not work well so we ended up just telling the staff the answers.
Now it was 3:20 and we decided to head back. You have to be at the finish line by 4pm to have your ranking count. Plus, we were sweaty and ready to be done. I got 3 times my step goal for the day and covered 14km even with our TTC pass.
We made it back just before 4 and ended up in 300 and something place out of about 500 teams. So we made our goal with 12 Chase Points, didn't fight and had a fun day together. See you next year City Chase!
We went into the race with no anticipation of winning (top teams do it in 2.5 of the allowed 6 hours), but instead made our goal to complete the required 10 Chase Points by the 4pm finish time. This makes for a much more relaxed and fun race for two competitive people.
It was a beautiful day, the boys were with their grandparents and AJ and I were ready for some adventure.
After the Zumba-like warm up that AJ hated, they announced the riddle to lead us to our clue sheet. We spent about 40 minutes sitting on the sidewalk working out the riddles. Longer than many other teams, but shorter than others. This year's clue sheet was done in brain teasers so it took a little longer to work out.
Once we had most of them figured out, we picked the one that sounded the most fun (which is basically our whole strategy) and headed out with our TTC passes in hand.
Chase Point #1 - Escape Room
We forgot to take a picture of this one, but it was easily my favourite. I haven't done a full escape room before but this made me want to go soon. It was a medical room and we had to find files and match files with injuries and blood types to open a lock. It was a pretty quick Chase Point #1.
Chase Point #2 - Zorb Wars
Stop #2 was a bit of a walk to a park. We were so excited to see the zorbs because we thought there would be water involved and the sun was beating down. Alas, no water, but still a fun challenge. Us vs another team to try and knock off small balls velcroed to the zorb. And we won so we didn't have to clean up.
At this point, we didn't really have a game plan so we sat down for a snack and to map out where we would go the rest of the day. We forgot our plan from the last race to have a paper map with us, but AJ used his iPhone to map each address into quadrants so we'd at least pick ones in the same area. This little stop was a good choice and gave us a plan for the rest of the day.
Chase Point #3 - Cheerleading Routine
Routine is a bit of a stretch. One partner had to stand on the other partner's knee and hold for 5 seconds. I tried first because that's what the girl is supposed to do, but apparently I have the world's worst balance. So we switched and AJ nailed it immediately.
Chase Point #4 - Box Hockey
This was surprisingly one of the most physically difficult challenges. Those sticks are super bendy and the other guy just held his stick in front of the holes so there was nowhere to go. We ended up there so long, the judges just gave us a mercy point.
Chase Point #5 - Boot Toss
We accidentally found this one by following another team from box hockey, but we'll take what we can get. AJ tossed 3 boots into a can for the point.
Chase Point #6 - Surf Workout
Another really fun one! We followed the instructor through an ab workout on surfboards. Nama-surf.
Chase Point #7 - Goodlife Puzzle
Goodlife usually has a fun and challenge point, but this one was a bit disappointing. Move the weights to the other side moving one at a time and not having a larger weight on top of a smaller one. Took AJ about 10 seconds. (Though he hammed it up for the photo)
Chase Point #8 - Trumpet Playing
Forgot to take a photo again, but be glad there's no video. I said I was going to do this point no matter what it was and I ended up having to play a note on a trumpet for 5 seconds. I played something that could maybe be called a note, or several terrible notes. But I got the job done. Of course, AJ played trumpet in high school, but he was kind enough to let me embarrass myself.
Chase Point #9 - Art Match
Next we went to an art school. We were given 10 photos of artists and had to match them with their paintings. I knew half of them for sure and the others were a guess. The staff member was very generous with hints.
Chase Point #10 - Fun With Flags
After accidentally taking the long route, we made it to a park where we had to use flag signals to spell a phrase. It took us a few minutes to figure it out but we got it.
We were at our 10 points at about 1:45, but I had already seen the tweets that winners passed the finish line around 12:30. So we could have headed back but decided to keep going and see how many we could do. (There is something called the Enduro Challenge, where the team with most Chase Points gets a prize. The winner this time got 20.)
Chase Point #11 - Paint A Masterpiece
As it turns out, our last two points were not as exciting as we hoped. For #11 we had to copy a painting, mixing the colour to match.
Chase Point #12 - Arm Trivia
Next we had to answer 5 trivia questions at an art store by writing the answers across both our arms. The marker pens we were supposed to use did not work well so we ended up just telling the staff the answers.
Now it was 3:20 and we decided to head back. You have to be at the finish line by 4pm to have your ranking count. Plus, we were sweaty and ready to be done. I got 3 times my step goal for the day and covered 14km even with our TTC pass.
We made it back just before 4 and ended up in 300 and something place out of about 500 teams. So we made our goal with 12 Chase Points, didn't fight and had a fun day together. See you next year City Chase!
Saturday, February 6, 2016
40 by 40 - Get a dog
I've had a dog for most of my life. When AJ and I got married, we got a dog within the first year. I love having a dog around and have missed it ever since we had to put Snax down about 2 years ago. It didn't make sense to get one right away when we knew we'd have another baby, so we waited. Then we had Dallas and we're getting to the point where he's not so needy and I started getting puppy fever. I thought it would be great to get one while on mat leave so I'd been home more often and have time for training. AJ wasn't so sure so I just looked up puppies online.
One day, I was looking up breeders to see if there were any new litters of goldendoodles at a reasonable price and I found one in Peterborough. I sent it to AJ more as a joke, but surprisingly, he said we should do it. I called the breeder and they still had a female left and Kyler had a PA day the next day so we went on a road trip. We didn't tell Kyler what we were doing and he was very patient for the whole 2.5 hour drive.
When we got there, we went inside and told Kai what was up. He was pretty excited. We took a look at 2 different dogs and fell for the playful white one.
We made a deal and brought our new puppy home.
We named her Kona which means Lady in Hawaiian and is also an apparently delicious coffee. Kyler is already her favourite and has the playful scratches to prove it. The first bit is always a little more trying - she cries when we leave the penned in area of the house or put her in the mudroom at night and there are lots of accidents to clean up, but she's already a pretty great dog and I love having her sleeping on my feet right now as I type.
One day, I was looking up breeders to see if there were any new litters of goldendoodles at a reasonable price and I found one in Peterborough. I sent it to AJ more as a joke, but surprisingly, he said we should do it. I called the breeder and they still had a female left and Kyler had a PA day the next day so we went on a road trip. We didn't tell Kyler what we were doing and he was very patient for the whole 2.5 hour drive.
When we got there, we went inside and told Kai what was up. He was pretty excited. We took a look at 2 different dogs and fell for the playful white one.
We made a deal and brought our new puppy home.
We named her Kona which means Lady in Hawaiian and is also an apparently delicious coffee. Kyler is already her favourite and has the playful scratches to prove it. The first bit is always a little more trying - she cries when we leave the penned in area of the house or put her in the mudroom at night and there are lots of accidents to clean up, but she's already a pretty great dog and I love having her sleeping on my feet right now as I type.
Friday, February 5, 2016
40 by 40 - Let someone else order order dinner
I am a very picky eater. But I'm working on it. I used to only order chicken fingers at every restaurant I went to. AJ will eat almost anything and his sense of food adventure has been rubbing off on me over the years.
This year, I created a binder full of new recipes and we've been trying a new one every night. It's been a little over a month and it's been an interesting experiment. Most of them, we've all enjoyed, some have been less than thrilling and we've tossed the recipe, but it's been fun trying new things and buying groceries we've never bought before.
Still, letting someone else order whatever they want for me at a restaurant is a scary thought. I'd hate to spend all that money on something I don't like. But last weekend, I had a girls' day while the husbands watched all of the children (brave men) and the girls wanted Indian food. I have never tried any kind of Indian food, but they all raved about it so much and I was just happy to be out kid-free, so I agreed.
Since I know nothing about the food, I let them do the ordering. We had butter chicken, daal, curried beef, samosas and naan. I tried it all and it was good! The samosas and naan were especially good, but there was nothing I truly didn't like.
Maybe I'll even try it again sometime.
This year, I created a binder full of new recipes and we've been trying a new one every night. It's been a little over a month and it's been an interesting experiment. Most of them, we've all enjoyed, some have been less than thrilling and we've tossed the recipe, but it's been fun trying new things and buying groceries we've never bought before.
Still, letting someone else order whatever they want for me at a restaurant is a scary thought. I'd hate to spend all that money on something I don't like. But last weekend, I had a girls' day while the husbands watched all of the children (brave men) and the girls wanted Indian food. I have never tried any kind of Indian food, but they all raved about it so much and I was just happy to be out kid-free, so I agreed.
Since I know nothing about the food, I let them do the ordering. We had butter chicken, daal, curried beef, samosas and naan. I tried it all and it was good! The samosas and naan were especially good, but there was nothing I truly didn't like.
Maybe I'll even try it again sometime.
Wednesday, January 13, 2016
40 by 40 - Binge watch a TV show
So it's been a bit of a hiatus on this blog as we've been busy figuring out how life works with two kids. But it's been great. Dallas is now sleeping through the night and is such a happy, easygoing kid. Kyler has started school and absolutely loves it, plus that gives me plenty of one-on-one time with Dallas during the day. Which brings me to my next 40 by 40 list completion.
Dallas is generally a pretty good sleeper and still takes two 2 hours naps during the day leaving me lots of time to clean and learn a new language, but who am I kidding? I've done a few projects here and there, I shower most days, I go to mom's groups once in a while and I thoroughly enjoy my Netflix subscription.
I have watched a number of shows over the past few months, but the biggest binge watch has definitely been Grey's Anatomy.
I wasn't sure about it at first - I had never watched an episode in the 11 seasons it's been on so far. Seemed a little too soap opera for me. But enough people recommended it that I figured I'd give it a shot.
And it is kind of a soap opera. But it's very well done and I got hooked pretty quickly. And I am proud (or maybe embarrassed) to say that I have now caught up to the 12th season on live TV.
I am currently rewatching The Office series since Netflix has added it and remembering why it's one of my favourite shows ever. It's so smart and hilarious, especially the cold opens.
So another thing off my list. I've highlighted a few others that I hope to accomplish this year as well. Then I start to get down to the more expensive/difficult ones but also some really fun ones. And I will try to post more often than every 5 months.
Dallas is generally a pretty good sleeper and still takes two 2 hours naps during the day leaving me lots of time to clean and learn a new language, but who am I kidding? I've done a few projects here and there, I shower most days, I go to mom's groups once in a while and I thoroughly enjoy my Netflix subscription.
I have watched a number of shows over the past few months, but the biggest binge watch has definitely been Grey's Anatomy.
I wasn't sure about it at first - I had never watched an episode in the 11 seasons it's been on so far. Seemed a little too soap opera for me. But enough people recommended it that I figured I'd give it a shot.
And it is kind of a soap opera. But it's very well done and I got hooked pretty quickly. And I am proud (or maybe embarrassed) to say that I have now caught up to the 12th season on live TV.
I am currently rewatching The Office series since Netflix has added it and remembering why it's one of my favourite shows ever. It's so smart and hilarious, especially the cold opens.
So another thing off my list. I've highlighted a few others that I hope to accomplish this year as well. Then I start to get down to the more expensive/difficult ones but also some really fun ones. And I will try to post more often than every 5 months.
Tuesday, August 18, 2015
40 by 40 - Coach Kai's sports team
I've had a bit of a hiatus with my bucket list what with having a baby and I. Actually, having a second baby would have been at the very top of my bucket list, but with all the trouble we had getting pregnant the second time around, I was afraid to even put it on the list. But he's here now and I'm ready to knock some items off this list.
We put Kai in soccer this summer - not just Playball where they learn drills, but real (ish) games. I mean, it was 12 teams of 3-5 year olds, so there were kids that chased the ball and kids that ate grass. Kai was kind of in between. He LOVED playing goalie (and was really great at it), but we challenged him to go out and play too (the whole point is to use up his nearly endless energy). At first he just cried every time the ball got taken away from him, but by the end of the year, he was right in there and having a great time.
The coach of the team didn't exist. I think the league just assigned one of the parents but no one seemed to know who it was. So the parents just kind of took turns taking lead on the practise that happened during the first half hour of the night, and more often than not, that fell on me because I actually went in and played instead of watching them.
I'm not a soccer person. I subbed a couple times for a friend a couple years ago, but otherwise, I've always been into baseball. But working with Kai and the kids and running around with them was fun.
So, I wasn't exactly the official coach, but I did get the free coach's pizza at the end of the year so I think it counts. And I may even sign up to be the official coach next year.
We put Kai in soccer this summer - not just Playball where they learn drills, but real (ish) games. I mean, it was 12 teams of 3-5 year olds, so there were kids that chased the ball and kids that ate grass. Kai was kind of in between. He LOVED playing goalie (and was really great at it), but we challenged him to go out and play too (the whole point is to use up his nearly endless energy). At first he just cried every time the ball got taken away from him, but by the end of the year, he was right in there and having a great time.
The coach of the team didn't exist. I think the league just assigned one of the parents but no one seemed to know who it was. So the parents just kind of took turns taking lead on the practise that happened during the first half hour of the night, and more often than not, that fell on me because I actually went in and played instead of watching them.
I'm not a soccer person. I subbed a couple times for a friend a couple years ago, but otherwise, I've always been into baseball. But working with Kai and the kids and running around with them was fun.
So, I wasn't exactly the official coach, but I did get the free coach's pizza at the end of the year so I think it counts. And I may even sign up to be the official coach next year.
Friday, July 17, 2015
Dallas' Birth Story
If you read my last couple blog posts, you know the road to Baby #2 wasn't an easy one, but he's here and I couldn't be happier. Dallas is 7 weeks old now and pregnancy memories are already fading, so I wanted to put my birth story into words now before those moments dim too. (And I honestly believe they dim because God made us that way...otherwise, very few people would have more than 1 child!)
When I started to go to my OB at 32 weeks, we discussed the idea of me being induced early, around 37 or 38 weeks because I was pretty much destined to have another big baby (Kyler was 11lbs 1oz) and because of the hemorrhaging I experience with my first birth. We didn't want my body to go through that again.
As I got closer, around 36 weeks, I decided I wanted to give the little guy a chance to come on his own as I think that's the healthiest for both of us if it's possible. So I wanted to wait to induce until 38 weeks. My doctor agreed.
We got to 38 weeks, I had my appointment and my doctor did a stretch & sweep but didn't mention inducing me and I didn't ask. In hindsight, I should have, but I really did want to go into labour naturally and figured 39 weeks was ok. At 39 weeks, after another stretch & sweep, he still didn't mention it, but I stopped him and asked, getting concerned now. He said they couldn't do it yet because I wasn't eligible - I was healthy, the baby was healthy and he thought this baby wasn't as big anyway, maybe 8lbs or so, which seems like nothing after an 11lb baby. So I trusted him and waited to go to term.
At 40 weeks, I was more than done with the pregnancy. I had finished work early because I had planned on being induced early and now I was just sitting around, feeling huge and worried that there would be big baby complications. My doctor informed me that we wouldn't be inducing until at least 41 weeks. I was annoyed to say the least, but I couldn't force him to do it so I went home to wait, feeling stressed.
Another issue with this is that AJ was starting a new job with a start date of a week after my due date that sent him out of town for a full week. This should have been fine and given us a couple weeks together after I was induced early, but as the days went by, it was looking more and more like he'd be leaving for a week only a couple days after our baby's birth and that stressed me out more than anything.
I went to the hospital every couple days for a Nonstress Test and a stretch & sweep and that baby just wasn't moving. Finally, 5 days after my due date, I had another appointment with my doctor at the hospital and told him we needed to pick an induction date and I wasn't leaving without one.
At this point, we had bumped AJ's start date to the next Thursday, giving us a week together at best. My doctor offered the following Wednesday as the date. Not only was that 1 day before AJ HAD to go to his new job, it was at 42 weeks in my pregnancy and this was no longer a small baby, I was sure. I was told later that the look I gave him at that news was probably nearly enough to kill him. But he left my little cubicle and what was I supposed to do? I was already trying all the old wives' tales to induce and nothing was working. I was pretty distraught.
About a minute later, as we were getting ready to go, he came back. He told us that it was a slow morning in the hospital's delivery centre and would I like to be induced now? Um...yes, yes I would.
So suddenly, I was admitted and gowned and given a delivery room and we had a lot of calls to make. We got Kai a place to stay and my mom to come and help with delivery. After such a long wait, it was all moving fast.
I was admitted around 10, had my water broken at noon, walked around for a couple hours and was given an IV of labour-inducing drugs around 3. That got things moving pretty quickly. At 4, the pain was still manageable, but my nurse suggested I request the epidural now if I wanted to ensure I got it and by the time it came, I was definitely needing it.
They measured me around 3cm at 6pm and the next time they measured, about an hour later, I was at 10cm and he was on his way.
Dallas Jarett Martin was born on May 28 at 8:45pm after about 5 hours of labour and 30 minutes of pushing (compared to 22 hours of labour and 3 hours of pushing with Kyler). He was 11lbs. 5oz. - probably big enough to have induced early, huh doc? But he was here and none of that mattered anymore. I had no complications and neither did Dallas and that's all I wanted.
We had some family visitors that night and Kyler stayed up late to meet him which was a pretty amazing moment. I spent 2 days in the hospital and felt so much more comfortable overall, physically and emotionally after having been through this once before. AJ got to spend a whole week with us before leaving for work and I survived being on my own with 2 kids.
Since everyone asks, I can't say for sure if we're done having kids (never say never, right?), but I'd say we're 90% sure we're happy with two. AJ got his two boys, I got a sibling for Kai, they're happy and healthy, they don't outnumber us, and I wouldn't mind never being pregnant again.
And anyway, doesn't this look like a pretty perfect family?
When I started to go to my OB at 32 weeks, we discussed the idea of me being induced early, around 37 or 38 weeks because I was pretty much destined to have another big baby (Kyler was 11lbs 1oz) and because of the hemorrhaging I experience with my first birth. We didn't want my body to go through that again.
As I got closer, around 36 weeks, I decided I wanted to give the little guy a chance to come on his own as I think that's the healthiest for both of us if it's possible. So I wanted to wait to induce until 38 weeks. My doctor agreed.
We got to 38 weeks, I had my appointment and my doctor did a stretch & sweep but didn't mention inducing me and I didn't ask. In hindsight, I should have, but I really did want to go into labour naturally and figured 39 weeks was ok. At 39 weeks, after another stretch & sweep, he still didn't mention it, but I stopped him and asked, getting concerned now. He said they couldn't do it yet because I wasn't eligible - I was healthy, the baby was healthy and he thought this baby wasn't as big anyway, maybe 8lbs or so, which seems like nothing after an 11lb baby. So I trusted him and waited to go to term.
At 40 weeks, I was more than done with the pregnancy. I had finished work early because I had planned on being induced early and now I was just sitting around, feeling huge and worried that there would be big baby complications. My doctor informed me that we wouldn't be inducing until at least 41 weeks. I was annoyed to say the least, but I couldn't force him to do it so I went home to wait, feeling stressed.
Another issue with this is that AJ was starting a new job with a start date of a week after my due date that sent him out of town for a full week. This should have been fine and given us a couple weeks together after I was induced early, but as the days went by, it was looking more and more like he'd be leaving for a week only a couple days after our baby's birth and that stressed me out more than anything.
I went to the hospital every couple days for a Nonstress Test and a stretch & sweep and that baby just wasn't moving. Finally, 5 days after my due date, I had another appointment with my doctor at the hospital and told him we needed to pick an induction date and I wasn't leaving without one.
At this point, we had bumped AJ's start date to the next Thursday, giving us a week together at best. My doctor offered the following Wednesday as the date. Not only was that 1 day before AJ HAD to go to his new job, it was at 42 weeks in my pregnancy and this was no longer a small baby, I was sure. I was told later that the look I gave him at that news was probably nearly enough to kill him. But he left my little cubicle and what was I supposed to do? I was already trying all the old wives' tales to induce and nothing was working. I was pretty distraught.
About a minute later, as we were getting ready to go, he came back. He told us that it was a slow morning in the hospital's delivery centre and would I like to be induced now? Um...yes, yes I would.
So suddenly, I was admitted and gowned and given a delivery room and we had a lot of calls to make. We got Kai a place to stay and my mom to come and help with delivery. After such a long wait, it was all moving fast.
I was admitted around 10, had my water broken at noon, walked around for a couple hours and was given an IV of labour-inducing drugs around 3. That got things moving pretty quickly. At 4, the pain was still manageable, but my nurse suggested I request the epidural now if I wanted to ensure I got it and by the time it came, I was definitely needing it.
They measured me around 3cm at 6pm and the next time they measured, about an hour later, I was at 10cm and he was on his way.
Dallas Jarett Martin was born on May 28 at 8:45pm after about 5 hours of labour and 30 minutes of pushing (compared to 22 hours of labour and 3 hours of pushing with Kyler). He was 11lbs. 5oz. - probably big enough to have induced early, huh doc? But he was here and none of that mattered anymore. I had no complications and neither did Dallas and that's all I wanted.
We had some family visitors that night and Kyler stayed up late to meet him which was a pretty amazing moment. I spent 2 days in the hospital and felt so much more comfortable overall, physically and emotionally after having been through this once before. AJ got to spend a whole week with us before leaving for work and I survived being on my own with 2 kids.
Since everyone asks, I can't say for sure if we're done having kids (never say never, right?), but I'd say we're 90% sure we're happy with two. AJ got his two boys, I got a sibling for Kai, they're happy and healthy, they don't outnumber us, and I wouldn't mind never being pregnant again.
And anyway, doesn't this look like a pretty perfect family?
Saturday, April 4, 2015
The Journey to Baby #2 – Part 2: Through the darkness and to the other side
After the miscarriage, it was a few months before I was ready to try again for Baby #2. I know this isn't everyone's experience, but I feel like I was able to move on pretty quickly. I think there are a few reasons: like I mentioned last time, I never really "felt pregnant", I loved the baby certainly, but I didn't feel that connected like I did with Kai. I also spent most of the day on that awful Saturday coming to terms with what was going to happen. And I was hopeful. The first two pregnancies had come relatively easily and I was still within my age plan for the whole thing. (everyone who has had a baby rolls their eyes at the idea of a plan for anything baby related)
Before I move on from the miscarriage I just want to note how little I knew about miscarriages before this. No one talks about them. For me, they had a stigma of someone with pregnancy problems, that they were uncommon. I haven't shared openly about my experience until now, but I did tell a fair number of close friends and, to my surprise, dozens of them shared their own miscarriage stories. I had no idea. It's common, really common. And not just for first pregnancies, as I found out. And it doesn't necessarily mean there will be a problem with the next pregnancy. In fact, doctors don't even blink about a miscarriage until you've had about 3.
That being said, I'm thankful that I hadn't gone and shared our pregnancy news with the world. At 11 weeks, it happened fairly late for me, but I think having to retract that kind of news would have made things that much harder.
Moving on to what came next.
By October, I was ready to try again. When there was nothing happening after a couple months, I started to panic a little. Kai was going to be over 3 by the time we had the next one, if we ever did. I had a couple tests done, just to make sure the miscarriage hadn't caused any problems and everything was clear. The doctor just said that it can take up to a year even in the most healthy people. That didn't make me feel a whole lot better.
I started going to a naturopath and trying some natural solutions to help with ovulation, etc. I got an app on my phone to track everything. I bought ovulation tests in bulk and eventually pregnancy tests in bulk too. My once predictable cycle had gone a bit crazy and there was no pattern, so I was relying on testing.
Over the months that followed, I became increasingly stressed and less and less hopeful that this was going to happen. Throw in a pretty stressful move to a new town and I was a mess. I was exhausted and easily agitated and thinking of nothing else. Poor Kai probably got in trouble more times than he deserved and AJ, once again, wanted so badly to help, but couldn't.
It was not a good time for me. Feeling that way is awful, but worse is knowing how you're treating your family and not being able to stop yourself. They were so patient with me when I didn't deserve it and I will forever be thankful for how well AJ stuck by me. I had a couple good friends too who I would go to. One in particular who had had her own struggle with conception. Having a woman to talk to, who understood and could even voice my frustration and sadness was so helpful. She was able to give me something that AJ couldn't and I think he was grateful for that too.
After 10 months of nothing happening, my doctor sent me to an OB to see if there was something he could try. He gave me the same line - everything seems healthy and it hasn't quite been a year, which is not uncommon, even for the most healthy people. But he did suggest a medication that I could try that helps stimulate ovulation. I was willing to try.
I started the medication the next day, along with continuing naturopathic remedies and acupuncture.
6 weeks or so later, I finally got what I had been praying/hoping/wishing for for almost 11 months: 2 pink lines.
I didn't even both trying to make a surprise of it - I walked like a zombie into the kitchen where AJ was making Kai's breakfast, hands shaking and showed him the test. He didn't quite understand at first - is two lines good? After all, he hadn't taken dozens of tests over the past year. Wide-eyed, I told him it was good and he gave me the biggest hug and I could feel some of the anxiety melting away.
It didn't quite end that day of course. I took several more pregnancy tests that week and the next, just to be sure. I was constantly on alert for something to feel wrong or off. I was excited, but tentative.
We told our parents at 8-weeks. AJ was leaving for school for a month in November and I needed the support. My mom cried, knowing what I had gone through to get there.
At 11-weeks I was still holding my breath, but feeling a bit better, knowing I had made it past that milestone.
My doctor was kind and booked a dating ultrasound even though I knew the date basically to the second thanks to my compulsive tracking. But seeing that ultrasound at 12 weeks - the little peanut baby moving around with a heartbeat did so much to ease my mind. As did every doctor's appointment listening to the heartbeat and especially the 20-week ultrasound.
Now, at just over 7 months, I'm feeling much less tentative. I don't think I'll stop worrying until I hold this baby boy in my arms, but every time I feel those kicks and tosses and turns (as uncomfortable as they make me sometimes), it's a reminder of what I've come through and how thankful I am that God has given us this second child. Every sciatic nerve spasm and moment of nausea is a blessing. Only 7 more weeks to go!
Unsuccessfully trying to get pregnant, for me, was infinitely harder than a miscarriage, or delivering an 11 pound baby. It wrecked me emotionally and physically and relationally. I wouldn't wish it on anyone.
I understand now how obnoxious it must have been to some people for me to say how easy it was to get pregnant with Kai. Every friend and acquaintance who posted a pregnancy announcement on Facebook during that year was like a knife in my heart. Several close friends and family members had babies and I had trouble being happy for them, much less snuggling their little ones. But I'm on the other side, and I know this joy I've finally received doesn't happen for everyone. I know plenty of people that have been trying for years and are still trying. Because of my experience, I can now empathize and be that friend who knows the words someone going through miscarriage or infertility needs to hear. And I think I'll do a better job and enjoying every moment with the new baby having taken a harder road to get there.
So my advice to anyone going through something similar - talk to someone. It doesn't need to be everyone - most people won't know what to say - but someone who has gone through it and come to a place where they've found hope again. Don't blame yourself. Give yourself permission to mourn every month, but don't wallow too long. Don't miss the life you have while you're dreaming about the one you want.
Thursday, April 2, 2015
The Journey to Baby #2 – Part 1: Joy & Loss
When we got pregnant with Kai, it was very planned. This will come as a surprise to no one who knows me. When AJ and I got married, we knew we wanted to enjoy a few years just as a couple before having kids. We waited 5 and it was great. I was ready to expand our family before AJ was, but I was young enough to not mind being patient. When AJ said he was ready too, we were pregnant within a month. It was so easy. I had a good pregnancy and we had a wonderful healthy baby.
We knew we wanted Kai to have a sibling, but wanted to wait a couple more years so Kai could be a bit more independent by the time a sibling came around. Having #2 when Kai was around 2.5-3 years old seemed ideal.
Everything went so well with the first pregnancy, I made my plans without even considering the possibility that they wouldn't work out. I knew it might not happen the first month again, but within 3 I was sure.
When we decided we were ready, surprise, I was pregnant within a month again. I was ecstatic. A February-March baby spread out our birthdays nicely throughout the year. I even managed to hold off telling AJ until I could order a Dallas Stars bib to surprise him.
We decided to still hold out until the 12-week mark to tell family and friends, although we did share with 1 or 2 people.
My pregnancy always seemed a bit strange to me. I was missing some feeling that I still can't express. I just didn't feel pregnant. But I just figured, it's #2, things are going to be different.
At 11 weeks, my world changed.
I had been having a bit of spotting for a week or two, but it wasn't much and, from everything I read, it was perfectly normal. Then, one Saturday, it got worse. AJ was out that day and I kept the problem to myself, thinking it would get better. I told AJ about it when I got home, and a couple hours later, I knew without a doubt that something was wrong. Really wrong.
We called a friend who knew about the pregnancy to come and watch Kai so we could go to the hospital and he came immediately and without questions. He told me later that he could tell by my face that it was going to be bad news. I knew it too. I tried to be hopeful, but I just knew.
**TMI warning** At the hospital, I bled through all my protection and the pants I was wearing. When the nurse found out, they brought me into a room right away (we had been waiting a couple hours already). I remember asking if there was any point in hoping for good news. The nurse didn't answer.
**TMI warning** At the hospital, I bled through all my protection and the pants I was wearing. When the nurse found out, they brought me into a room right away (we had been waiting a couple hours already). I remember asking if there was any point in hoping for good news. The nurse didn't answer.
They kept me for a few hours with nurses checking in every so often. It wasn't getting any better, but I kept my brave face. The doctor finally came in and did an invasive ultrasound, at which point the official miscarriage happened. He explained what I already knew, told me how sorry he was and left. The kind nurse stayed behind and held me for a few minutes while I cried, told me it was ok to mourn, that it was nothing I did wrong, there was nothing I could have done to prevent it. She also said that often, miscarriages happen because there was a problem with the baby from the start. (this part, I don't find comforting, but I wasn't in a place to really question her on it)
I cried on AJ's shoulder for awhile too. I know he was sad for the loss, but I think he was even sadder for how broken it made me. I think it must be really hard to be the guy - all he wants to do is fix it and he's helpless. But he did the right thing - he held me, let me get all the tears out and told me we'd get through it.
We did, but it was a harder journey than I expected.
Sunday, January 25, 2015
40 by 40: Get Bangs
I've thought about getting bangs for many years now but was never ready to take the plunge. Mostly I was worried that they would never sit right and didn't want to have to keep up maintenance.
I got a haircut the day AJ came home from 3 weeks in Texas and decided it was time.
I'm happy with the result and have found it easier than I expected to get them to sit the way I want, but they are still definitely more work. They're growing out pretty quickly and I've decided I probably won't trim them. I tried it and enjoy it but I think I'm happier with long hair all around. Glad I finally tried it.
I got a haircut the day AJ came home from 3 weeks in Texas and decided it was time.
I'm happy with the result and have found it easier than I expected to get them to sit the way I want, but they are still definitely more work. They're growing out pretty quickly and I've decided I probably won't trim them. I tried it and enjoy it but I think I'm happier with long hair all around. Glad I finally tried it.
Thursday, October 9, 2014
40 by 40: Take a yoga class
About 2 months after my 30th birthday and I have completed my first 40 by 40 task!
I have been taking a kickboxing class for a little while now and I really really like it. It's a good workout that I enjoy and the hour goes by quickly. Last week, though, I had to miss a class due to another event, so I asked about doing a make-up class so I didn't lose the money. They said no problem so I signed up for the Vinyasa Yoga class.
I've been wanting to try yoga for a while so I was excited to see what's it's all about. Yoga girls are always skinny so I figured it must be a good workout. And Vinyasa yoga is also known as "power yoga" and is a bit more of a flow of movement which sounded interesting to me.
There were 5 other people in the class and the room was dimly lit with some nice music and fake candles lit - a good ambiance.
We started with some deep breathing and feeling your body melt into the mat. Then we moved on to different movements with a lot of focus on downward dog and planks. It wasn't easy. I'm not as well balanced as I thought and all those planks and push-up type movements were exhausting.
At the end of the class I felt relaxed, but not like I had done a workout. Without the sweat and the desire to chug the rest of my water bottle, it didn't feel like an exercise class to me. And there was a lot of lying on our backs and stretching, or sitting in child's pose. It was a nice break from the plank, but the whole class left me without the feeling of accomplishment I get from kickboxing.
I haven't ruled out yoga entirely, I think I would probably try a class or two again sometime, but I still love a good cardio class.
I have been taking a kickboxing class for a little while now and I really really like it. It's a good workout that I enjoy and the hour goes by quickly. Last week, though, I had to miss a class due to another event, so I asked about doing a make-up class so I didn't lose the money. They said no problem so I signed up for the Vinyasa Yoga class.
I've been wanting to try yoga for a while so I was excited to see what's it's all about. Yoga girls are always skinny so I figured it must be a good workout. And Vinyasa yoga is also known as "power yoga" and is a bit more of a flow of movement which sounded interesting to me.There were 5 other people in the class and the room was dimly lit with some nice music and fake candles lit - a good ambiance.
We started with some deep breathing and feeling your body melt into the mat. Then we moved on to different movements with a lot of focus on downward dog and planks. It wasn't easy. I'm not as well balanced as I thought and all those planks and push-up type movements were exhausting.
At the end of the class I felt relaxed, but not like I had done a workout. Without the sweat and the desire to chug the rest of my water bottle, it didn't feel like an exercise class to me. And there was a lot of lying on our backs and stretching, or sitting in child's pose. It was a nice break from the plank, but the whole class left me without the feeling of accomplishment I get from kickboxing.
I haven't ruled out yoga entirely, I think I would probably try a class or two again sometime, but I still love a good cardio class.
Tuesday, September 2, 2014
40 by 40 List
I'm no longer a twenty-something, but I think I'm taking 30 in stride. What seemed scary a few years ago isn't so bad now that I'm in it.
I posted a few weeks ago with a re-cap of my 30 by 30 list. I did ok with it, but there were a few misses. Now, it's time for a fresh start and a new list.
I've included the items from 30 by 30 that didn't get done, because they're still things I want to accomplish. And I've layered in other items on my life-long bucket list, new items I'd like to try and some great suggestions from friends. Another suggestion I really liked was to categorize my goals so I don't end up with 25 travelling to-dos and nothing that involves giving back. So here it is: my official 40 by 40 list.
Live A Little
Just Because
Wanderlust
Improve Myself
Spread Goodwill
Get Creative
For My Kid
Date Night
I posted a few weeks ago with a re-cap of my 30 by 30 list. I did ok with it, but there were a few misses. Now, it's time for a fresh start and a new list.
I've included the items from 30 by 30 that didn't get done, because they're still things I want to accomplish. And I've layered in other items on my life-long bucket list, new items I'd like to try and some great suggestions from friends. Another suggestion I really liked was to categorize my goals so I don't end up with 25 travelling to-dos and nothing that involves giving back. So here it is: my official 40 by 40 list.
Live A Little
- Bungee jump
- Scuba dive
- Be in a game show audience (or better yet, be ON a game show)
- Ride a mechanical bull
- CN Tower Edgewalk
- Hot air balloon ride
Just Because
- Use valet parking
- Wear a ball gown
- Smash a guitar
Get bangsLet someone else order dinner
Wanderlust
- Celebrate New Year's in a big city
- Vacation at an all-inclusive resort
- Visit 5 new baseball stadiums (and watch a game there of course)
- Family trip to the East Coast
- Family trip to the West Coast
Improve Myself
Learn to drive stick (without panicking and requiring a completely empty stretch of road)- Get to my goal weight
- Run a 5k
Go to a movie aloneTake a yoga class- Grow my own veggies
Spread Goodwill
- Go on a short-term mission trip
- Write letters to 5 people who have impacted my life
- Donate blood
Invite the neighbours for dinner
Get Creative
- Be in a flash mob
- Write a short story
- Learn an instrument
- Year of Dates project
- Learn the Thriller dance
For My Kid
- Back yard projector movie night
Get a dogCoach Kai's sports team- Family trip to Disney
Date Night
- Go to a Ben Rector concert
- SUP with AJ
Binge watch a TV seriesTry Adventure Rooms Canada- Go skeet shooting
If you see any that sound like something that's also on your list, let's do it together!
Thursday, August 14, 2014
30 by 30: The Final Recap
Well it happened, I've turned 30.
Interestingly, the closer I got to it, the less scary it was. I've accomplished some pretty big things on my unwritten life list. Married, child, job in my field, house, car, done some travelling. I think 30 will be ok. 40, now that's scary, but that's for another post.
Time to recap my 30 by 30 list, originally posted 4 and a half years ago.
Interestingly, the closer I got to it, the less scary it was. I've accomplished some pretty big things on my unwritten life list. Married, child, job in my field, house, car, done some travelling. I think 30 will be ok. 40, now that's scary, but that's for another post.
Time to recap my 30 by 30 list, originally posted 4 and a half years ago.
- Blow up at least 3 of our own photos to use at art in the new house
Make a calendar in Photoshop to give as Christmas gifts- Teach Snax a new trick
Serve at a soup kitchen at ChristmastimeTake a wine tourPlay ice hockeyTry (and hopefully enjoy) running- Bungee jump
Road trip down the California coast- Scuba dive
- See the Goo Goo Dolls in concert
- Go on a short term missions trip with AJ
- Weigh 160
Read the favourite book of at least one friend each year- Spend New Year’s downtown in a big city
Read the Harry Potter seriesSpend a day painting on canvas- See the Grease musical
- Take kickboxing
- Learn to drive stick (better)
Go white water raftingPay off our debtsRecover the dining room chairs(didn't do this, but we got new chairs so sort of the same?Learn to sew so I don’t have to get my mom to fix my buttonsGet a great permanent jobBuy a design program (probably Photoshop)Host a family ChristmasBake a pie from scratch- Be in a play
Have a baby
7 to-do's left undone. Almost 80% isn't bad I guess. Most of what's left is travel related and some of the other items (like buying a house, having a baby, paying off debts) kind of took priority over those. So overall, I'm pretty proud of myself.
But that means, dun dun duhhhh, it's time for a 40 by 40 list. Being 40 seems crazy right now, but hopefully by the time it comes, I'll feel the same way as 30.
I am currently working on my list of 40 things and will post my to do list soon. Feel free to send me any suggestions.
Goodbye 20's, I'll miss you.
Friday, August 1, 2014
Starving the monster
Three years ago a friend of mine, Sarah, went on a year-long spending fast. I was blown away and inspired, but I never got around to doing it myself. Two years ago, inspired by Sarah, our Pastor, Carey, did the same thing. This summer, Carey spoke about it at church in a series called Starve the Monster, all about entitlement and challenged us to try it for ourselves, whether it be for a week, a month or a year.
After 3 years of thinking about it, I'm ready to act and AJ is on board to embark on this challenge with me.
So today is day 1 of a 9-month spending fast. Not quite a year, but a pretty daunting amount of time.
Why are we doing this?
This is not because are church has told us we have to or we think it's the holy thing to do. It's not about saving money, although I hope that's a nice bonus. For me, there are 4 main reasons I've wanted to do this, ever since Sarah talked about it.
1) We have so much stuff. It just happens. We're not hoarders by any means, but we have more than we need and don't need to add to it.
2) Appreciating things more. I want something, I buy it, I enjoy it: sometimes for a while, sometimes for an embarrassingly short time. I'd like to pay more attention to the things already have that work just fine instead of just buying things on a whim.
3) Considering my purchases. This really goes with number two, but how many of the things I buy do I even really want that badly? If I abstained from buying that thing I want for a week, would I still be thinking about it a week later? For most things, the answer is probably no. I'd like to be more intentional about purchases and less quick to pull out my debit card.
4) Battling entitlement. I never thought about it in those terms before this series at church, but I do feel entitled. I work hard at work so I deserve a couple new shirts or I had a bad day so I need an ice cream. I could and should be so much more thankful for the things I have and the things I'm able to have. And if I can be happy with less stuff, maybe I can afford to do more with my money – do more family activities, treat friends and family to a night out and give more away to great causes.
I think everyone deals with money in a different way and your reasons for a spending fast might differ from mine, but I think most people would agree that we all have too much stuff and aren't thankful enough for it.
So. The rules. We obviously are not planning to spend zero dollars for the next 9 months.
1) This spending fast does not apply to necessary expenses. Mortgage, utilities, car expenses, groceries - not affected. Although I do think we'll be a little more intentional about our grocery spend.
2) This spending fast does apply to discretionary money. Clothing, shoes, accessories, eating out, music downloads, etc. Yikes! (And no buying that stuff for AJ because he can't buy it for himself)
3) Gifts for others on special occasions are ok.
4) Spending gift cards is totally fine.
5) Spending on family/date experiences is ok, but we'll be more conscientious about our choices.
6) If we find there's something we truly need, try to buy second hand first.
So of course, Target just opened 5 minutes away from my work and I can't go shopping, but I'm excited to see what this little adventure teaches us. I imagine we'll both be very easy to buy for come Christmas.
I'll aim to post an update once a month or so. If you've ever thought about taking control of your discretionary spending and become a little more thankful, would you like to join me?
After 3 years of thinking about it, I'm ready to act and AJ is on board to embark on this challenge with me.
So today is day 1 of a 9-month spending fast. Not quite a year, but a pretty daunting amount of time.
Why are we doing this?
This is not because are church has told us we have to or we think it's the holy thing to do. It's not about saving money, although I hope that's a nice bonus. For me, there are 4 main reasons I've wanted to do this, ever since Sarah talked about it.
1) We have so much stuff. It just happens. We're not hoarders by any means, but we have more than we need and don't need to add to it.
2) Appreciating things more. I want something, I buy it, I enjoy it: sometimes for a while, sometimes for an embarrassingly short time. I'd like to pay more attention to the things already have that work just fine instead of just buying things on a whim.
3) Considering my purchases. This really goes with number two, but how many of the things I buy do I even really want that badly? If I abstained from buying that thing I want for a week, would I still be thinking about it a week later? For most things, the answer is probably no. I'd like to be more intentional about purchases and less quick to pull out my debit card.
4) Battling entitlement. I never thought about it in those terms before this series at church, but I do feel entitled. I work hard at work so I deserve a couple new shirts or I had a bad day so I need an ice cream. I could and should be so much more thankful for the things I have and the things I'm able to have. And if I can be happy with less stuff, maybe I can afford to do more with my money – do more family activities, treat friends and family to a night out and give more away to great causes.
I think everyone deals with money in a different way and your reasons for a spending fast might differ from mine, but I think most people would agree that we all have too much stuff and aren't thankful enough for it.
So. The rules. We obviously are not planning to spend zero dollars for the next 9 months.
1) This spending fast does not apply to necessary expenses. Mortgage, utilities, car expenses, groceries - not affected. Although I do think we'll be a little more intentional about our grocery spend.
2) This spending fast does apply to discretionary money. Clothing, shoes, accessories, eating out, music downloads, etc. Yikes! (And no buying that stuff for AJ because he can't buy it for himself)
3) Gifts for others on special occasions are ok.
4) Spending gift cards is totally fine.
5) Spending on family/date experiences is ok, but we'll be more conscientious about our choices.
6) If we find there's something we truly need, try to buy second hand first.
So of course, Target just opened 5 minutes away from my work and I can't go shopping, but I'm excited to see what this little adventure teaches us. I imagine we'll both be very easy to buy for come Christmas.
I'll aim to post an update once a month or so. If you've ever thought about taking control of your discretionary spending and become a little more thankful, would you like to join me?
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